Hooky | A Spongebob Parody

 Sam Statford was nervous. He had never skipped school before in the 18 years of his life, but today he decided he would do just that. He had been convinced by his new friend Phillip to skip school. Sam for the most part was just a nerd who liked school and worked hard for it, but Phillip had convinced him it was a good idea to cut class. Phillip had been his friend for about a year at this point, and Phillip also was the star quarterback and the most popular guy in school. Sam really wanted to earn his respect which was another reason Sam agreed to do this.

Sam pretended to be sick and handed his teacher a slip from the clinic, excusing him from class. Then, he headed down to the football field where Phillip was waiting for him. “Did you get outta there smoothly?” Phillip asked.

“Yeah, no one suspected a thing,” Sam said.

“Good,” Phillip said. “I wouldn’t want you getting caught on your first day.”

“So what’s the plan?” Sam asked. 

“The first part of the plan is for you to do everything I say,” Phillip said. “Don’t question it pr talk back, understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Sam said. “I’ll do everything you tell me to do.”

“Good,” Phillip said. “Stand next to that flagpole over there, facing the field.”

Phillip pointed to the big flagpole off to the side of the field. Sam nodded and walked over to it. “Now what?” Sam asked.

“Now, stand still and don’t move,” Phillip said as he reached behind Sam and grabbed the hook used to pull the flags up.

Phillip used the hook and put a hole through Sam’s pants and underwear using it and hooking him up. “Hey, wait. What are you doing?”

Phillip grinned. “I’m putting you in your place, Sam. Ladies come out here.”

That’s when the whole cheerleading squad stepped into Sam’s view. They all giggled as they saw Sam attached to the pole. Sam’s eyes widened as he realized his predicament. “I’m stuck! Wait, Phillip, please. You have to help me!” Sam yelled.

“I can’t wait for Principal Kraft to catch you out here skipping school. You know his policy when it comes to that,” Phillip laughed. 

Sam squirmed as Phillip ran off leaving him alone with the girls who all giggled.

It wasn’t long before Principal Kraft came outside, but he wasn’t alone. He also had Vice Principal Staunton and a few female teachers with him. They all approached Sam and Principal Kraft said. “Sam, I thought you were one of the good ones. You’re supposed to be a scholar, our valedictorian, and here you are skipping class.”

“Please, Principal Kraft,” Sam said. “I’m sorry. I am a good student, and I will never skip class again!”

“No, I’m sure you won’t,” Principal Kraft said. “It looks like you’re stuck there. That hook is in there pretty deep.”

“What am I going to do?” Sam cried.

“There’s only one thing to do, boy,” Principal Kraft said, causing all of the women to giggle.

“No!” Sam cried. “I can’t do that! Not in front of all these… girls!”

“Well then I have no choice but to leave you there,” Principal Kraft said. “Hopefully next time you can follow and obey the rules.”

“Wait!” Sam yelled.

He reluctantly reached for his pants and ripped them off of his body. He was left standing there in his tighty whities causing all of the girls to laugh. “Um, lad,” Principal Kraft said, pointing to the fact that Sam was still hooked by his underwear.”

Sam’s eyes bulged out of his sockets. “No! I can’t do it! Anything but that!” Sam yelled. “Please there has to be another way!”

All the girls giggled louder while Principal Kraft just shrugged. “I guess we’ll need to find another valedictorian. Since this one won’t be joining us anytime soon.”

Sam gulped, but Vice Principal Staunton grinned wide and walked over to Sam. Staunton hated Sam for being one of the most annoying students she ever encountered. So as Sam stood there, pleading with Principal Kraft to help him, Staunton reached over and tugged on the cable of the hook until. RIP. 

Sam didn’t even process what had just happened until it was too late. All the girls burst into fits of laughter, some snapping photos of Sam’s naked exposed body. His small little penis was on display in front of everyone as they laughed. “Oh look, Sam’s naked wiener is on display!” Patricia, the head cheerleader cooed. 

“Do you think Sam has learned his lesson, Staunton?” Principal Kraft asked.

“Oh, I think he’ll remember this for a long time. I know I will.”

Everyone laughed while Sam desperately covered himself and made a run for it. Everyone laughed as Sam ran for the school building, crying about all the girls seeing him naked. 

Author’s Note: I thought I’d have some fun and make a human parody version of the episode from Spongebob Squarepants called Hooky. I thought about how it would work in a human context and applied it here. Is it realistic? No, but it’s based on Spongebob, so what else would you expect? Anyways, I hope you all enjoy. Maybe I’ll do others like this where I do a parody of infamous ENF/ENM scenes from shows and movies. Let me know what you all would want to see.